Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Friends.. an losing them.

I have to vent a little out there and see if anyone else ever feels this way. I have (maybe had) a friend that is very special to me. There is one problem and I'm not sure if I should reach out or not. As you know, I recently had my daughters graduation party and invited this one friend and she didn't come... she never called or anything. I received an email invitaion for a party for her husband and step-son.. needless to say, I didn't go. Not that I was snubbing,, I really don't like the behavior of her husband or step-son... she is treated very unkind by both..(imagine, like father, like son)..anyway, she was a great friend that I cherished very much and really don't know how to reach out to her again. I miss her, but I'm glad I don't have to listen about her rude husband and naughty step-son.
So , my question to you wise women.. should I just move on and know that this was a season in life or should I somehow reach out to her?


Karyn - (French Charming) said...

Hi Tracey,

If she's been a great friend I'd reach out to her...sounds like your friend could use a little kindness in her life.

Sorry she didn't show up for your daughter's graduation and I'm sure you were hurt. I would just be honest with her and tell her how it made you feel and clear the air.

Hope it all works out!


Dustjacket attic said...

I agree with Karyn, but be very honest about what is grieving you in the friendship and see if areas can be improved.


Joy said...

Obviously you are missing her. I bet she misses you too. Go ahead and reach out. See what happens. Like the first commenter said, it sounds like she could use some kindness in her life.

Small House said...

You just might be the happy in her life! That doesn't mean you have to do things with her AND her husband. Maybe just keep it between you and her. A note of friendship in the mail occasionally is nice to. (Been here done this)
Have a great day.

Kathleen said...

I agree with all these wise women. Love, Kath

Joy said...

I was thinking about this again last night. You could set boundries... when she starts in about the inconsiderate, ungrateful, disrespectful husband and son, you could stop her and tell her that you don't want to hear about it...or suggest what steps she could take to not allow them be so nasty to her. I had (have) a friend that long story short, I don't e-mail her anymore---just letters through the mail as she went on and on about all sorts of negative stuff and truly I found it exhausting. So,maybe reach out to her---but you don't have to always be her sounding board. Just a few thoughts.

Tracey said...

Thank you all very much..I tried to email her , but I guess I dont' have the correct one.. so I will mail a letter.. this is how I keep in touch with others I really dont' want the drama with.. so I will take all advice under consideration and give it a whirl! Thank you wise women.. I knew I could count on you!!!

Michelle said...

If you're posting about it I think you want to reach out to her, Tracey. Despite the way her husband and son act, SHE is your friend not them and I think you might have to set that part of it aside...but BE HONEST. As much as it hurts, I think honesty is the best policy. If she is a true friend she will listen to you without getting defensive but appreciate what you are saying. Also, definitel set boundaries. I've had to learn that lesson quite a bit. I'm too nice sometimes and let things go...but for too long. As I get older I find it's easier to set boundaries now. LOL!

Good luck Tracey...



Maggi said...

I agree with Karyn and the rest of these smart women. Good luck with your letter!

Finding Home said...

I agree with Karyn too. Though I tend to be the type who just lets the friendship fall by the wayside. I'm actually dealing with the same sort of situation with my best friend. Total snubbage of me and I'm sort of at the point where I just want to move along. The same thing you said...the season may just be over. I'd really pray about it first. But maybe some time apart may give a better perspective.

Nora Johnson said...

Happy holidays to you too, Tracey!

It's 2am here in Andalucia, so getting quite sleepy - back to my basket (yawn). Sooo glad you liked the cake and egg nog!


Dumbwit Tellher ♥ said...

I realize this is an older post but had to comment. I have a situation very much like that. I had a friend who I have NO clue what happened but all of a sudden she dropped from radar. Emailed, called, & then finally she answered & we met for coffee. I asked what I had done & she had said it was nothing but she knew a mutual friend & I were not getting along & she didn't want to get in the middle. The shocker was I didn't even have much contact with this 'other' woman. I explained, things seemed fine & we parted. A few days later my husband & I went to see her & her husbands new home. She was kind to let us in but never offered a cup of tea/coffee & seemed uneasy. That was one year ago Sept. & have never heard since. I had the same ?; do I just let it go? I have fought the urge to try again, (believe me, I tried really hard the first time) & have just gave up. Anxious to hear what you decided to do?
Hope it all worked out for you?!
:D deb

jordiegirl said...

I do hope things work out for you with your friend but if they don't then please don't let it worry you just move on with your life.

I have had this happen to me more than once and I really don't know why these people have treated me in this way, you know just not answering my letters etc - but I have moved on and just let them go if they want me back then they will have to make the first move - some of these people were my best friends!! but I guess they no longer needed me and tossed me aside even though I still needed them at that point in my life.

But, hey I have other friends, some I have known for many years and I guess these are my true friends.

You can only try to make contact and if it fails then at least you have tried.