Well, my children are moving back home. Yup, you got it.. my 26 year old who has been gone since she was 18 and my youngest who has been gone for a year...They both are moving in on August 1st. This is a big decision for my husband and I. We are use to being alone in our home and on only our schedules.
This will be an adjustment for the 4 of us, but we;ll make it with a little patience, respect and some guidelines
- Initiate a serious discussion - Early on to ensure that you and your child have the same expectations about the living arrangement. Define why your child has decided to live at home: to start a career and save money, prepare for graduate school or take a break from everything?
- Set clear expectations - Talk about your child's obligations regarding expenses and household chores. Discuss whether she or he can have dates over for dinner or even to spend the night. If your child plans to spend the night out, should he/she call home first? By setting and enforcing expectations, parents help their children learn the skills they need to live independently.
- Set a time limit - If your ultimate goal for your child is independence, set a limit for how long she or he can live in your house. You can adjust that deadline later if desired. Experts say it's best for everyone to be on the same page in order to avoid the resentment that might arise from vastly disparate assumptions.
- Charge Rent - For some parents, the mere mention of charging rent to a family member draws an incredulous reaction: "Are you serious? But I'd do anything for my kids!" But for other parents, charging rent, even a minimal amount, helps prepare the boomerang for living independently and helps parents keep up with home finances.
- Keep Promises - If parents and adult children hold to their agreements and continue to respect one another, they won't encounter many problems. Resentment can arise when either parents or children are not doing what they've agreed upon. If things start to unravel, have a family meeting to discuss expectations and boundaries.